I'm having trouble getting back online to my blog but Thank God I'm here now. As many of you know INSTAGRAM has been the new thing. Pictures, pictures and more pictures. I'm actually on there too and meet wonderful people. I mainly post quotes of every day situations and mostly on my Faith in God. I also have some non-believers whom of course, we can not judge. I treat everyone equal. There has been a certain someone, who will remain nameless, that he unconsciously gave me the idea of writing my stuff to the public. I thought to myself, well yea BLOG IT!! So here I am. Thinking how can I link it or find an easy way to type everything one time. And well I think I prefer to keep ranting here while on iG (instagram) I'll cut to the chase.
... quietly enjoying some KLove Music ...
The other day I was thinking after long talks with my church friends and my family about a certain situation in my life. I won't go into details but I got to a low point (again) that it was hard for me to get up all by myself. So this time, in many many MANY years I opened up to Christian friends. I choosed them because coming from a community we all grew up, one being married and all of us have Faith in God. I know God brought us together for a reason. And sometimes the strong people (later will expalin) need strong friends whom can hold us up. I'm so very happy that they were there when I needed someone.
I fell down into a pit that was total darkness. A pit of unappreciated, unloved, not wanted, pushed away, walking dead as they say. I know we are suppose to protect our hearts, our emotions but sometimes we get tired of covering them. Of not caring. I'm too much caring. I'm that friend that is always there but yet never found one to be there for me. Until those friends. Ok let get back on track.... so I felt a roller coaster of emotions. I know it was noticeable because strangers would ask me if I was ok, That's when it hit me! I feel and look horrible, something has to change.
So I came to realize that whether we faithfully express feelings of care to others friends, their reaction or appreciation shouldn't be taken too harsh. I say that because we are only guilty of what we say and feel, not what other say. FINE!! I was getting mad after the roller coaster of emotions. I accepted the ridicously unexplained answer because I wasn't going to be stuck forever. not again.
THEN I was told that I shouldn't change because someone didn't know how to appreciate the loyalty. Or friendship in this case. Well duhhhhh I should have know. but of course, we humans need to hear it from someone else. I starting thinking that they are right, why would I change the type of person I am because some humans prefer to act ignorant towards others. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my friends. Even the unappreciated one. I will admit, I can't judge them because they did choosed me to stand by them without knowing if I will. And I see that as God working his miracle on them and myself...as I grow. So even after these feelings were getting less, I do appreciate God sending me all my friends. I do have Faith in God that he has something wonderful for me that will make me realize of all the steps I am taking now.
This may seem as a rant all over the place but, I'm tired. Its Friday and I really don't want to think negative. So I'll cut this short.
I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER AND I'M STAYING THE WAY I AM BECAUSE GOD HAS BETTER PLANS THAN THE ONES I HAVE FOR MYSELF.
Good Night
xoxoxo
