Tuesday, August 16, 2011


You know what hurts the most, when someone who says things to you so simple but hurts deep down. We can brush it off and sometimes even the strongest has invincible tears that show those also unseen the emotional part. What I don’t get it is when someone says they are “respectful” and “treat a woman right” but later along the line, I hear words that are not respectful or make her feel wanted or loved or even friendly. I know we have our days but then again, how would I know your having one of those days? And how would you know that if those words being said has reminded of a past I was trying to forget and you, less than a second brought it back to life. How can a person move on with someone like this near?
Brushing things off is a great way I usually deal with things and I just keep walking. But what happens if it happens with someone I didn’t think it would? Or with a friend whom I thought wasn’t going to throw negatives back at me, dealing not with them but within myself. Was it or is it still wrong to confide in people theses days? For me, yes. And no. Some portray the nice friend one and healthy wise but one little mistake, one teeny weenie mistake can make you go WW3 to WW4 then, I need to question this thing we call friendship
Because you never done knowing or learning from the other, we should be careful what we say to each other. Good and bad stuff. Because closed doors hold a lot of stuff in you can’t just simply assume a happy smiling all day person to be a sunshine’s. Maybe behind those doors she’s/he’s a wreck. So next time someone wants to say a few words, think before you speak. You might just trigger that bullet and your names tattooed to the fine print.


"Nobody can hurt me without my permission."   — Mahatma Gandhi

because chimps can, can I?


Ok, maybe this update will be all over the place because I tend to end up all crazy while saying what I feel so pardon the Russian language J.
We all have our different points of views, opinions, about relationships…many questions I come about and some of them are like WTF!! Yes I know there are no stupid questions or concerns but some are really disappointing because I can’t believe people are…well…closed minded. For instance, I’m not sure if I did write this but I was asked the other day, why don’t I love the person. He asked; really LOVE, like in love. But yet again…I just meet you dude. Please how can you ask me such a dumb question.  I barely know how to pronounce your last name yet alone include the word “love” into any of our conversations. *rolls eyes*
Yea, yea yea Ifor sure he don’t can hear some people say maybe its love at first sight. Ummm, nope!! I don’t “love at fist sight” him and I know  eighter. Long story short, he doesn’t even know what he wants out of his life. I can’t help him in that because I’m still doing me.

Ok, so another thing. Cheating. What is that? What does it constitute? Does it come with a “read before play” book? Yes, I know is a sentimental/hard/emotional/blah blah blah topic but have you actually sat down and thought of that word? For instance, I was in a relationship and we would talk about anything. I mean anything, with respect of course. We would talk about our past relationships, how he was going to marry a girl he thought was in love with. I would talk about myself and the past. No harm done because it was our past and it molded us to people WE liked and enjoyed being with. We would joke around asking what celebrity he would leave me for and vise versa. But this was something we were comfortable talking about, we didn’t mind the answers. If we would go out, he would point out a “very pretty girl” and I would ask why that one…etc. We both were comfortable in talking about things that at the end of the day we only had eyes for each other. We wouldn’t mind if the other said a nice compliment about someone else. Why we didn’t mind because we were comfortable within ourselves that when we came about to compliment each other it was done bigger and sweeter and better than any other compliment towards another. For example, he loves long hair. I have long hair and if he saw a pretty lady with well kept long hair (that would stand out) then he would tell me about her BUT within that week as we heading out, he would say something like , “wow your hair looks extra long today, I love it”. Now he didn’t have to say that for me to feel secure because I was already secure with him. So rambling on about this leads me to a friend of mine asking me that why I accepted my boyfriend cheating on me, or “looking for someone else”. I asked why was that question raised and all because a simple compliment was made from him to a stranger. What was said “Hello beautiful, enjoy your day thanks for the follow”. Yes, it was online to a total random stranger who lives OVER SEAS!!!!!
Wow!!! I should have beat him to death and run away with his money…right? WRONG!!! What’s so wrong about a compliment to someone else? Especially to someone you don’t know and doesn’t in no way, shape or form live near you. I mean, I understand, some people may be saying why he say beautiful or any other word that describes her…prettiness? I know some girls and guys don’t like for their partner to say things like that but c’mon. if you both are in love and know your partner is faithful and hasn’t given you reason for doubts why start now, with a simple compliment to another. I mean, are you that insecure that someone over seas, a total stranger will take your love away? Hey sorry to burst your bubble, it fucking happens but when your partner has shown love to you and is always there, 24/7 talking with you then lets be open minded, he/she won’t leave.
A true love won’t leave with all the doors in the world open for them to take that step. I know some of us have trust issues and prefer not to go there, and that’s fine. But if your basing on just that and make your life a turmoil for a simple compliment then you got another thing coming to you. That’s called darkness! In order for us to get back on love, find love or even be open for love, we have to trust ourselves that we won’t do the same steps to fall for someone who won’t stand by you. Because trust is a big issue, a lot of us end the relationship that could have been a good one all because one simple mistake. Remember no one is perfect. But if you make your life a turmoil just for a simple compliment or go to the extremes that you “can’t believe this is happening” to the point you ain’t eating then O-M-G!!!! Sister or brother you need to get back on that “read before play” book because if one little mistake as a compliment to a stranger, or a look to a stranger bothers you then your NOT healthy enough to be in a relationship. Seriously, I have meet guys who don’t like their girlfriends looking up at guys when they go out. Please, how in the world would I look down onto the floor because some strange man is just passing by. C’mon, that’s not healthy and not right. We have eyes to look and mouth to say what we feel. If a simple look or compliment  to another human being bothers you then you gotta recheck your X/Y chromosomes because something is not adding up. WTF!!! How can someone have such low self-esteem that bothers them to an extreme to go back and not trust. Yes, I know many of us have been through a lot but aren’t you fucking tired of crying and thinking how can they do this or that. Aren’t you fed up with just eating macaroni & cheese and not that steak with a friend or love?

You know what alot of us think we are "ready" to be in a relationship but if we say we got trust issues and our partner just doesn't understand then I suggest you to have patience with yourself. Patience because if your not in the place you want to be, that's because you still have a few more screws to fix up in your life. so relax and don't rush. help yourself love yourself so when the next good thing comes along, you'll know if thats a keeper! Otherwise people with just play games with you and say "fuck it".